Renew

Hi dusty,

Oh my, it's almost a year since I wrote something here. Lots of ups and downs, laugh and tears. Where am I now?
I'm working as an economic officer in a ministry, staying at the Government place. I thank Allah for everything He planned and i seek forgiveness and strength to be His good servant.

How do i feel?I'm spiritually weak, unlike before, I'm not determine as i used to be, i feel lonely and I look forward to meet new people, see new things and beautiful places on earth. I still have that dream to go outside to see and mix with good people, good manners and attitude. I'm thankful for where am I now. And I know, i have to strategize of how to achieve my dream. I want to be a happy working mother. I want to have a good relationship with both families. Alhamdulillah, I'm planning to enter an adult phase of life soon. I know things are not easy but i will keep praying to Him walaupun dalam keaadan berdosa. :/

This journey, my work life, my personal life and my future life will give me pressure but i hope i could manage. Oh Allah, please give me strength and allow me to meet and enjoy the friendship that i used to cherish in my university days. After graduated, it's hard for me to find that kind of circle who would help you with complaining. Cadetship did change how i see things.


Sometimes, i do feel scared and tired and I'm spiritually weak. I hope I could improvise myself. I thank MSH, Faizah for always there for me. I still remember that Kak Kiah and Kak Haz wanna go to US with me this year...but i dont have money and yeah,it deters me to see that part of the world. But, it's okay Allah Maha Kaya so keep believing and keep on praying.


Be humble, be strong.


bye for now!

What a life...

Today is the last day of me at MITI. I really can feel the broken in me towards the end of cadetship. I miss my mom a lot these days. I miss her terribly. I need someone who can appreciate every single thing that i do. I need the love that i don't receive from my parents, the due respect the i really need. I love my adik-adik no doubt. I need something that i don't receive from anyone.

sad life.


Oh Allah...please help me.....

:'(

Sedih

I think i try to compromise my feelings. I know separation is needed but i just do not know what or how to do. I am a sad person and i really love if people would love me without condition. I am not a perfect person and i really need motivation and support in my life. I need people who love to do things with me. I need a friend who would listen to my rambling about love,about life and about the future.

I need a true friendship. I seek honesty in any relationship.

Oh Allah, why i feel bad about myself, why i cannot be like any other persons who have their love one around them...i need emotional support, motivation and people who survived from the struggle in life and optimist about the future.

Currently, I have no one who is serious with me. I'm just a sad person pretending to be happy.


I cannot choose because i don't have choice.

I know my feelings but i do not know whether it is good or bad.

When i really love someone, i will show it,,,my action speaks louder than my say

I pray hopefully things will be a good ending to my future


 but where do i start..

Oh Allah help me....send someone to love me...i need to rest in arms...in pouring rain....



.

Menghampiri

Oh blog, im sorry for neglecting you. There're so many things to do with so little time. Currently, we're approaching to the end of cadetship. Today is the last day of study week and i'm not prepared at all. I did some reading but oh myy,,i feel it's not enough..huuuuuuuuuu...nak nangis..........

I will do my internship at MITI after finishing the exam for 2 weeks.Hmmmm 

Yesterday, my adik involved in accident.He fell from his bike, broke the side mirror, suffered from dislocate shoulder and scracthes all over body.... i felt so sad bcoz he's alone in the house, no one to help him with the injury... may he become a man with a strong heart one day insya-Allah.


Today is mother's day. I miss my mom terribly. May Allah bless her soul. Ameen. Al-Fatihah.

I pray to Allah to give me a good husband and a good in law so that i can feel the love. I have not met my true love yet. My favourite man who is worth to share my life with. I just have not met you yet my future favourite man and i hope we can meet and tie the knot soon. Yes, im very serious about tying the knot. 

I need a drive in my life and i hope this favourite man can motivate, guide, love me unconditionally. I need someone who is brave enough to 'take my hand', 'hold me tight' and never let me go, wipe my tears and share the journey of life together. Right now, there's no one appears yet.

I will wait and wait and wait. If my favourite man does not show up, i guess he waits for me in the heaven...

As of now, i need to concentrate on my study. We all need love and hopefully we'll get it..insya-Allah.

Cadetship is about to over..

and we are all waiting for the end to come...





AkibatDeactivateFacebookSayaBerblog :)

LOVE

"Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made 

or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your 

beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are 

broken; 

your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when 

you are confused.” ― Alan Cohen

Kadet

Im in the midst of completing my GENOVASI assignments. Aiseh, 1000++ words to go..but there's something bothering my mind. The first one is regarding my eyes, i think i need to get the lenses. I don't want it to burden me during OBS later.huhu. Tapi rasa x berbaloi pakai lenses. Nak buat LASIK. Insya-Allah.

I just got back from Modul Ketenteraan. This module was very tiring,challenging and an eye-opener la juga. Habis my skin berbintat kat muka dan tangan. Alhamdulillah, sekarang dah surut dan hilang. Memang kena uji! I keep on telling myself to bersyukur dengan everything yang Allah dah buat. Semoga keadaan diri dapat kembali pulih seperti "semulajadi".


Semalam, Kelantan kalah dengan Pahang and the performance of Kelantan sangat menyedihkan!. Memang patut Pahang menang, hukum pemain Kelantan yang x ada urgency waktu bermain.Huhu. -Emo pulak,haha-


I'm kind of a person who want to give my best in everything i do. I know that we must put our total trust in Allah to be happy in this world and the world next. I totally can accept feedback n constructive comments. I really respect a man with a good character. That person,walaupun x nampak pious but I can somehow feel that deep inside, that person wants peace in his life, he is struggling in his own world.  It really touched my heart when he said that his eyes was sweating. Eyes x sweat, Your eyes was crying la...oh....

I know how it feels to cry in our own world dan selalunya saya akan dengar ceramah Prof Muhaya kat Audio IKIM Islam Itu Indah. It definitely membuatkan saya wanna improve myself and always looking for the bright sight in every event. I'm not perfect but i'm willing to learn to be a better me.

Salam 1Muharram...

Semester 2

Semester 2 sudah melabuhkan tirai meski banyak kerja yang perlu diselesaikan sebelum semester 3 bermula.


not yet ready..sometimes, i do think,,,waiting for the right time is the right thing to do..


shin asked me to write about my feeling towards things..oh..it's not easy to express it..

im totally impressed of how shin put her trust in Allah...

of course, we all put our trust in Him but in the case of shin, she's totally different...she can do anything that please her without having to think of the perception of others.


I am fully aware of the lack of confidence in me, i noticed that to be a modest person requires lotsa sacrifices.

Today is the 2nd day of Raya Haji.. i'm glad to be here in Kota Bharu with adik and yin..Sedih mengenangkan keadaan sekarang..i need people to be matured, dealing with high level of honour and dignity...


i need to improve myself..my being as a servant and vicegerent of Allah in this world...


oh Lord,, please guide me to find my path...keep me giuded Ya Allah...


many things happened n i need to ponder upon it...|



thanks for allowing me to debat sewaktu peringkat akhir perlawanan debat EPIK 2013. I thank Ariff and Ayman Wong for helping me out!!! Thanks guysss!!!



lagi,, our CSR team (Me,Siti,Shin,Megat,Ayman,Rai,Iezzat,Echam,Aziz +wife n Arisa, Mubin) went to Rumah Kanak-Kanak at Kuala Kangsar over the weekend (12/10/13-13/10/13)...sangat-sangat menyedihkan apabila mengenangkan kanak-kanak yang cukup innocent untuk menjadi penghuni di rumah tersebut. Sediiiiiih sangat,,some of the kids mmg rascal and ad yang masya-Allah baikkk sampai tersentuh jiwaku ini....


may Allah keep them guided thruout the journey... ;)




oh Allah,,,,we seek your forgiveness...please forgive us....   Allahuakhbar walilla lil hamd!



                                                  missing them so much :')

i met sarah n jah at prof's lecture...siapa sangka INTAN bawa kami para kadet ke CASIS UTM

me, Dhiah and Siti :)

at Fun Run KDU Kelana Jaya

Main Snooker for the first time at Mess Pegawai, Maktab Polis Cheras

Debat and Debate (EPIK 2013)

Night of Eelegance, ENGLISH WEEK

me is the project manager for Movie Screening,, ni gambar bajet main drum.. heh!

This is.....

shin-sama!

and this is a gift....

together with a bottle of 100 plus..im touched indeed!

that time,, when i was in pain, that simple message really made me felt better..all praise to Allah for your kindness..sometimes i do feel geram dengan kamu but i know..semua org x sempurna.. n i know,,im not that good either..










smg kita menjadi lebih baik dari hari ke hari....